monsbrick

Things with my family are calmer now. This last winter we spent much time with my step brothers and sisters as my stepfather was sickly and passed away in January. He had been my stepfather for 40 years but it was still hard for me to call him Dad or Father. We were able to reconcile and I prayed extra hard to forgive him and to ask for his forgiveness for all the hurt built up between us over the decades.

Similarly I also reconciled with all my siblings. No fights. Which was a major accomplishment for us.

My Mom had died back in 2016 and even though I strived for peace then it was not that way. I ended up yelling at times and in tears too.

I didn’t always have a strong faith. But death has that affect on me. And I praise God that I can and do lean on him.

And no matter how holy I feel my family and friends do a super excellent job of showing me my own hypocrisy or failings. I get up and try again and ask for more of God’s help.

I also don’t judge other people’s faith. Freshman year in college, I stayed on for summer school. I had 3 roommates who were really critical of my faith and challenged me in ways I was not ready. Though that was also 40 years ago it feels like yesterday and I try to stay open and accepting and remember many times in the Bible when Jesus crossed over what was acceptable at the time. For example, the heroes in Jesus’ parables of the Prodigal Son or the Good Samaritan. They were not typical heroes.

And I have many friends and family who are not Christians or who are not living in Christ.

One of my nieces though she’s a pre-teen or a tweener now. Her parents don’t go to church. They don’t read the Bible. And she doesn’t care. She found herself a church. She goes to Bible Camp in the summer. She is a normal kid with normal kid woes. But what I love about her is her own conviction even though in some ways she’s out there on her own. And no one told her from our family, this what you must believe.

Faith is a gift and we can’t all give it away. But we can be models of love, patience, and kindness.

I still have days where I yell and scream and get road rage. Still need my 12 step groups to come clean. But I am preparing for the time when it’s my turn to pack my bags for leaving this world. And well as far as I can tell the Egyptians were wrong— we don’t get to take our toys with us. May as well give them all away.

One of my favorite Bible stories is the one about the man who told Jesus he wanted to become a follower. Ok give away everything you have and come follow me… but the man turned away as he had many things and could not let them all go… I was always like ohhh no! How would I ever be able to give my own stuff away too?

Don’t worry it finally came to me! We all give it away when we die. Ready or not here I come!

Another way to feel the awe and majesty? Go be in nature. Go to the ocean. Stand under rain and snow. See mountains. Raging rivers. Or little mushrooms and slugs conquering the garden. Seeds and butterflies and even flies they are so complex and nature at work. Isn’t there epic beauty? Or witness the sunset!

Feel the energy of creation coursing through you. We are not robots. Even if we are tethered to our tv, phones, and cars.

—— This section below I wrote weeks ago but we all remain in chaos at our house. We are worn down. And trying to grit through the waiting. Will any of be in the 10,000’s cut so far we have all made it through these job and funding cuts but don’t know how much longer it will last.

And I’ve listened to many economists. Trying to understand what is happening with our US economy and the world economy. I have a Masters degree in Business but we are once again like in 2007-2008. Those years I was in grad school— at a time of major upheaval. Failing banks and we feared the collapse of our banking system.

Economists can theorize but until it all plays out we don’t really know there is no easy model to predict. I don’t really even feel like I understand. Much like we didn’t understand why the banks were failing then. But then we learned about subprime mortgages and credit default swaps.

I guess it’s a learning time and I’m trying to embrace that change. We cook a lot at home. We would raise chickens! My sister has a chicken coop but she gave her chickens to her neighbor. They make fantastic eggs. We have veggies, fruits, and nuts on our little home garden plot. It really stepping off my soapbox now. ———

My work situation is rocky as I am not a federal employee but work in the regulatory side of mortgage finance. My company may downsize soon and we are going through similar accountability and productivity reviews daily. It makes for a very stressful environment. I am a hard worker so I don’t doubt that if this company lays me off or chooses to fire me that I would find another job. But is unsettling.

Then there is my husband who is a federal employee and also is going through it in a different way.

And tonight I realized my stepdaughter who is in grad school… she works 4 jobs! She has some that are part time like tutoring and teaching dance. But her main work we found out is through federal government grants with Dept of Energy and Defense and they are also reviewing all this funding…. But like me she will not be out of work as she has a good work ethic.

My husband also has a good work ethic and he can move into the private sector. He is an investigator. He could do investigative work … but I have changed jobs many times. I’ve worked in tech and we are used to high turnover and constantly moving into new advances… but this sort of quick turnaround is not what my husband is used to. So it would be an adjustment. And maybe he could do something completely different too if he wanted. The chaos is hard though.

We are trying to stay strong but it is hard.

Trying to keep up with my swaps but my brain is out of it still and not clear yet.

♻️

Paper: I love paper!! Any kind of paper, stationery, loose pieces of paper, letter sets, postcards, notecards, ephemera.

Arts & crafts I’m into are journals, book pages like old books including illustrated flowers and plants, washi tape, wrapping paper, home made paper, yarn, tissue, packaging, found objects, and more.

Thank you for all the extras and gifts from you all!!!

Anything paper related, stationery, die cuts,

Postcards I like any and I love handmade or altered postcards!

Eclectic

Vintage or new but in a vintage style

Junk journals and fodder for them

Art all kinds and every style of art and crafts

Doodles

ephemera, any

Lace

Ribbons

Rice paper

Sari ribbon

Stamped images

Stickers

Washi tape

Found objects

Dyed by ink or store bought or hand dyed fabric or yarn

Recipes

Junk journals and scrapbooks

I like all colors.

I don’t have any dislikes. Well I avoid the occult. I dabbled in it and I do it recommend messing around with it or my experience was frightening to me. Of course, results may differ for each person but magic, the occult, tarot and all of that stuff in staying away from now.

That said I do accept my own shadow and dark sides.

Here are a few of the artists and makers I watch at YouTube:

I’m in shock that Tim Holtz has decided to stop designing new products. (But he is still making videos so that has been good!)

Recrafted by Carol

Meg Journals

Jack Ravi who makes junk journals I’m in love with his style

And Wendy Robinson who goes by the username The Unexpected Gypsy

“Pen pal with me”style videos though they can be a bit in the young side and I’m nearly 60years old…mainly my fav is Hedda aka mochibujo

Caroline on the Hillside

Ana Bondu she works in French mostly and her specialty is Gelli prints

Barbara at 49dragonflies

Claire at art_journal love

Cathy’s Garden

Denise Love aka @2lilowlsstudio and she makes intuitive abstract art very colorful

Dyan Reaveley

Tim Holtz

Dina Wakely

Maremi Small Art

Amity Bloom

Gayle Agostinelli

Helen Colebrook

Jackie Bernardi

Jane Davenport

Louise Heinzl

Mystele

Niamh Baly

Nicole Relax.Cut.Glue

Nik the Booksmith

Pink Odd Bird

Roxy Creations

Shabbydabbydoodah

ShanoukiArt

Shawn Petite

Susanne Rose Art

Teal and Tattered Journal

The Paper Outpost

TiffanySmplySharpe

Willowing

These are my favorites!!!